How to Get Things Done in Israel without Having a Nervous Breakdown

The Problem: Israeli Service Providers are Rude – or Are They?

A while ago, I was part of a Twitter conversation which evolved (or devolved) into the usual ranting about the horrible service you get in Israel. The consensus seemed to be that in order to get things “done” in Israel you have to be rude. You need to raise your voice and make “balagan” – the Hebrew word for a mini-riot.

Now, while there is an active network of Twitter in Hebrew, I choose to participate in the English version of Twitter only (for reasons not related to this post). That means the Israelis I follow and get followed by are almost always people who were not born here. They are often Olim (immigrants to Israel) and sometimes even former-Olim (as in, they have returned to their country of origin). They are wonderful people who dearly love Israel, yet most of them seem to share a tendency towards clashing with “they system” here.

I’ve often wondered why do these people, especially the Americans, but not only them, get so angry whenever they get to deal with banks, telephone companies, social security, any governmental agency or just the lady at the supermarket. They often complain that “Israelis are rude” yet often it is them who end up shouting and being overly aggressive. I’ve also seen the other party looking curiously and angrily at the American leaving mumbling “crazy American”, as they try to get back to their day of work.

Obviously, we have a problem here.

The Cultural Gap

About a week ago, my dear friend and new Olah, Aviva, has posted on this very topic on her blog -

Israelis – Sociological Study on a Curious Species

Her post includes a summary of a lecture by Mr. Maurice Singer about the sociological differences between Israeli society and your typical “Western Society”. He describes the Western society as -

a monochrome society rules govern the people. If there is a regulation how something is supposed to be done, it has to be done that way, no matter what, and it will be done that way, no matter what. Plus, you can bet that there is always a regulation, how things are to be done.

While Israeli society is a

polychrome society … [where] people govern the rules. In these societies you have regulations. But just like plans, time tables or working hours they are more or less seen as rough ideas how things in general could work out. There is however, always room for change, bending or adjustment, just as the situation might demand it. This leaves plenty of room for debates, creative solutions and brilliant ideas. You can make the system work for you with enough imagination, patience, persistency and the right kind of networks.

This not a value judgement. It’s not to say that one way is superior to the other. It does mean you could have trouble when switching from society to another. My advice to new Olim would be to change their perspective and learn how to make the system work for them. Trust me, it’s much easier than you think and no, you do NOT have to be rude or nasty.

If I may add another observation of my own:

In Israel there is a greater sense of comradeship and equality. The person giving you service is anything but your servant. They can be your neighbor, cousin, someone you know from the army (and more often than not, they are!) It’s that last element that Mr. Singer mentioned there – the networking. The person in front of you is either your friend, or he’s about to be.

So now, let me give you some tips on how to get along in Israel without blowing up at members of our curious species.

How to get a service provider (hereby known as SP) to do what you need them to do without having a nervous breakdown.

1. SP’s in Israel don’t smile or say “Good Morning” in a cheerful voice – do not take that personally. They may, or they may not smile, depending on their personality or their mood. A fake smile or being too polite would actually be considered… well, fake!
2. Get to know the SP. Your goal is to form an alliance. Create eye contact and call them by their first name (check their name badge or ask). Make conversation and be friendly. Make them smile a real smile. It’s not as complicated as it may sound – and doesn’t take more than a minute.
3. Don’t fight with them about the rules. They didn’t make the rules and you’re not supposed to blame them for them. Remember – they are fellow Israelis, your equals, not the servants of the devil.
4. Create a sense of empathy. Share your problems and be nice about it. Make them aware of the situation upfront – don’t just bring it up in the last minute when you’ve already shouted and made yourself an enemy. Don’t expect extra empathy just because you’re “Oleh Hadash”. We’ve all been there (or our grandparents were), so no “discounts” solely on that basis.
5. Respect their policies but encourage creativity. It’s ok to imply that they can probably make an exception (as they often can). Try to work on a solution together.
6. Get the SP’s name and phone extension for future interaction (assuming you managed to follow me so far and you two are friends). Use it – call them and keep working on your relationship. My Mom is a champ at this – she’s got “friends” everywhere and the nice thing is she met them while interacting with them there. She’s got “friends” in the IRS, her local municipality, the phone company and her local cab station.
7. Can’t bend the rules? Change them. There are ways to do that, and no, they do not include fighting with the SP or his or her superiors. I can do a separate post about this as well, just remember it is doable.

That’s it, in a nutshell. Let me know what you think. If you live in Israel, do you agree or disagree with my assessments? What were your experiences like so far?

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